FALL AND FALL OF BORAT MOTA

I was undead even back in 1918 eyes shut smoking ganja floating fat belly up in the Ganges, and then with my weak olfactory sense when I opened my eyes, so many dead human bodies began encircling me. A similar but much more severe thing happened a decade ago in 2021.

If 1921 was the officious beginning of Indian Hindu fundamentalism, also unknown as Borat Mota, after its uneven but indescribably long and uninterrupted reign of terror, in 2024 began its end with the lynching of Yousuf Joseph followed by the mob consisting of not only but also engineers of binaries being mauled by a donkey, yes, and a dog.

Meanwhile, of all places, in Switzerland, a mob of Motas occupied Berner Munster, aiming to kick-start Akant Borat, claiming that its bell tower was in fact Shivling. Why a Swiss church — why not a church in Untied Kingdoom or Portuguise or Italli or Untied Stats — remains a mystery.

Why not, for that matter, an Indian church — after all Jesus had some, if only brief, subcontinental presence.

After attending their lyceum in Nubia, Yeshua left for Takshashila whence they was kicked out on account of them being unashamedly queer and blatantly anti-varnashrama. They then joined the Neoperipatetic Akademi but had to drop out since although their colleagues and lecturers were approving of their queerness they weren't sufficiently anti-slavery. We'll see how these details about Yeshua went missing from the annals of history in detail soon but in the meanwhile let me just say just in case that circa 1001 CE the Yeshua Scroll was once seen in Gondishapur University only to go missing again soon after.

It was only the Shivling thing in Switzerland but worser things were happening to minorities in the name of other Hindu Gods in India. Conspiracies spread in Whatsapp University at the speed of lie.

The inaction of Hindus against fascism was frankly baffling to me at first. It was not a bunch of well-meaning Hindus that put an end to Hindu fundamentalism but triggered animals — cats, monkeys, bulls, pigs, buffalos, chickens, rats, owls, bats, kites, insects, germs, especially cows — that, if you ask me, couldn't take it anymore.

Not one Hindu who called himself/herself a Hindu would speak against the fascists but would just say that those who spread hatred and committed violent acts against Indian Muslims and Christians were not Hindus. Maybe they were afraid if they spoke against the state-sanctioned fundamentalists, they in turn would be labelled as unHindus. Or maybe they were all just fatalists most of these lowered-caste Hindus anyway being as they were descendants of slaves of some sort. One can understand the likes of Makkhali Gosala and Epictetus — emaciated ex-slaves — waxing fatalistic. But what was wrong with the well-fed privileged Hindus — I mean why put the beasts through manshit when we have our own bullshit to deal with. Meh so humans wouldn’t revolt even after fellow humans being subjected to so much mindless nuisance by humans bah.

While being out on my hunt for blood during the night, I'd seen solitary cows getting violent here and there on rare occasions but if you ask me they're one of the calmest beasts around. If a chain of events could provoke even cows into action, one can guess the weight of the words and deeds.

At the sound or sight of rhetoric or violence against Indian minorities, cows and other beasts behaved as if their bodies had been hacked into by a beastly defence mechanism. This was how Borat Mota came to its end: Moo crack MOO CRACK. Bah.

It's not just the Untied Stats even other states use human rights simply to scratch their incurable geopolitical itch. Human lives will begin to truly matter only if and when states have been made to wither away. Only unintelligent life would have endowed states and individuals and institutions with so much power like the humans have.

So much as scratch a brick in the Global North and see what happens. Things that would never happen happened because the incident didn't happen in the Global South.

International court summoned the Motas. Eleven and eleventy eleven of them they all fell like ninepins attacked by their own hearts upon hearing the thunderous verdict, which was this: With due respect, Sisters and Brothers, we do not intend to hurt the sentiments of this or that religion. But it must be said that a bell tower is still a bell tower for all that a Shivling it can never be for Shivlings, as found in South Asia, were or are never built with balls — eh, pardon us, you mean, I mean, bells, we mean. If it could be of any consolation, Dear Ardent Hindus, at least Shivlings can be of some use to common folks, as it had been reported to be in the past, which belfries lack even with their balls. Ah, now if you'd excuse us.

Christian and Muslim fundamentalists who happened to hear the verdict had heart attacks too — one can only guess as to why.

Back in the Union of India, AUA Onion of Hindia, when some victims stood their ground or in agony and terror uttered, say, Jay Sry Ham or Borat Mota Ky Jay, instead of y'know, due to dehydration, thud Thud THUD fell the mobs. Perpetrators were reported to have fallen due to heart attacks or gastric attacks but if you ask me, those were microorganism attacks.

Bah by now you would've guessed at the simple fact that I, the narrator of this chota naanstori, is a vampir but allow me to let you in on the fact that I'm actually just a lonely-albeit-never-alone vampiric woof woof wolmb unnamed Sheelam meh.

In a world full of fallen cannibals, I, now a stoic with a will to weather any famine, lay flat belly up on a parched Ganja — feet away from me a cow lying resembling an emaciated Kamadanube. We do not want to attack each other. Well, let me just speak for myself: I do not want to attack the cow. There's still some fat left in my thighs. I'd claw out my flesh and feed the famished cow if only she weren't vegan.

I'd long for Akasha Ganga and claw my way to Subterranean Sarasvati if only — I mean maybe I'd desire nonexistent things if only I were well-fed and fat, if only I could rinse my mouth every day with warm red blood.

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by Ahimaz Ponrasa

Ahimaz Ponrasa (a.k.a Rajessh, @ahimaaz) has been published recently with X-R-A-Y, RIC Journal, Ligeia, Twin Pies Literary and Unfortunately. He lives in the Union of India.