COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

“I’m forgetting how to forget things.” That’s what my avatar told an NPC Therapist today in our session together. The ECT my avatar experienced in VR took experience points off my character, but I didn’t know what else to do. There was no solution to avatar depression besides starting a new character and I’m so highly leveled and have so many credits spent getting specific skins for this character I wouldn’t want to start over fresh. There was no way. And I really didn’t want my avatar to go and somehow permadeath itself or get itself banned. I’ve had to download a VPN because I’m afraid that somehow EVERLAST will know my IP in case my avatar does go and get us banned. 

So, I did the only logical thing and called the cops on myself while in control of my avatar. Had him checked into the hospital. He needed inpatient bad. He rebelled. Tried to make himself out to the Jack Nicholson character from One Flew Over’s the Cuckoo’s Nest. Wore a damn watchcap and everything and tried to escape by causing a riot amongst the patients. They eventually followed through and gave him ECT. He lost so many levels, but EVERLAST promised me that I could earn 2x XP for a few weekends in order to compensate for the trauma. 

Eventually, we agreed that we would replace the negative memories of level grinding all the way. I told him that in no uncertain terms that once he was released, we would level the way he wanted to. No more killing rats in some dungeon for twelve hours and not questing. I told him that our friends were all looking forward to our release. We hugged it out. The Therapist told us we couldn’t integrate until his release, so we stopped hugging and he glitched out. 

It turns out that he had broke into the server and replaced his avatar with another doppelganger of himself. Fool me once. He had never really been in the hospital the whole time. The VR then bugged out and a singular voice came through the darkness. I’m coming for us both Michael. It then dumped me out of VRspace without any warning and without a cooldown time, which risked paralysis from the change in electromagnetic pulses between the magnetic connections. I was aware of the consequences immediately. I couldn’t feel my arms and legs when the VR operator unplugged me. 

“What the hell was that?” said the VR Operator. 

“My character wanted me to know how it felt to be trapped.” 

by James Michael McCoy

James Michael McCoy (they/them) is on the Internet. They are @pallmallmuzak on Twitter.