AUTOTUNE VAGINA VORTEX
They had matching cowboy hats. The bride was Starr.
My Yukon holds 8 but there were 12 or more, overlapping each other’s laps. I was yelling, “Easy, girls,” recalling my daughter’s bachelorette party. But these girls are whooping and don’t hear nothing. I slot my phone and turn on reverse video. More fun for them. More tip for me.
That did it. Next thing Starr’s spreading her legs wide and pushing her snatch up to the camera. Right up in it as I drive.
“Faster, Uber Granny! Faster!”
So then they ALL pull up their gowns and yank off their panties. Red and royal blue and turquoise gowns, satin shiny, high-slit and single-shouldered goddess gowns. Each is flopping, grappling to push their prize pussies to the camera. Proud. Then the boobs. Thrusting waving pouting and Starr in the center shrieks & hoots above them all.
SATIN RAINBOW TUNNEL
I knew I shouldn’t have taken the tunnel. Too late: Missed the exit. But now it’s not normal tunnel. Not TNT-blasted rock, but Rainbow Tunnel of Satin lined with girl gowns. Soft-serve sherbet swirl shined and pasteled in flutters. The world’s greatest garment maker or artist Christo hypnotizing & smoothing the tube in moss green and rose-gold turquoise pink.
(I stay focused on the road!!!)
And the girls rock my Yukon. I keep us moving, laughing, singing.
All this time, the Sirius radio is skipping in and out of channels. I normally keep it on Classic Rewind or Chill. But it’s flying through every one of them for a couple seconds each: the rap, the soul, country, metal, Christian, sports, Howard Stern.
But then the radio channels one voice: a deep warble, or 2 or 3 voices joined. Like autotuned singers who don’t sing but talk inside the music. A speaking spirit.
You came from me. You come to me.
I don’t dare touch the radio. Because now I KNOW THAT VOICE. I’ve heard it before and will never forget it:
In Sedona with Gidget at vernal Equinox we off-roaded the pink Jeep to Bell Rock to stargaze and it’s midnight and we’re holding hands flat on our backs in the perfect POWER VORTEX at the top center of the rock: That’s a PERFECT circle in the center of a CIRCULAR VALLEY, when clouds fluttered open and cracked a crimson gash, with the moon like a shiny clit-pierce pearl. Vagina sky, ringed by stars. And the voice said,
You came and you come from me
Center circle is where you go
Over and through and under you
A daughter and another mother
Gidget heard it too. “That voice is sound en-souled. Aristotle defined it,” she said. “These voices channel signs of affection equal for all. And we hear the spirit of the Mother Star.”
MAGNIFICATION OF ORGASMIFICATION
In the tunnel with the bridesmaids, the pink and green fades. A channel of satin walls turns to ruby red membrane. Surging lapping rippling and slipping. It’s dripping like Kartchner Caverns.
(I have my wipers on full!)
Tunnel skin grips the estrogen-messy Yukon and muscles it forward as the girls shriek spasms and grab snatches.
Then the autotune vortex sings:
Love flesh flowed in flood
Souled in blood
Morning and Evening Star
The bride gash gush splash squirts
And the puddle mirrors stars.
And Yukon slides & shimmies through tunnel lustered by orgasm ripples.
The Mother Father
Whose Name is not named,
Who came from the heights of Fullness,
Light of Star of the realms of Light,
Light of the silence of Forethought
Father Light of Silence,
Mother Light of Word
Daughter Light of the Incorruptions,
Infinite Light and radiance from the realms of Light
of the unrevealed, undisclosed,
Unaging Mother of Sisters circling rivers of light
Aeon of aeons before and ever more
self-generated, self-generating,
self-producing, truly true eternal realms of the heights of light
I felt it. I know Starr felt it and all the bridesmaids felt it. The shudder spasm channel, the tunnel of light and soul flesh.
And you know what? I have the video. I recorded the whole thing. It’s dark because it was the tunnel. But you can hear the song!
You wanna hear it?
by Jack Skelley
Los Angeles writer Jack Skelley’s books include Monsters (Little Caesar Press) and Dennis Wilson and Charlie Manson (Fred & Barney Press). Semiotext(e) will publish Jack’s novel Fear of Kathy Acker in spring 2023 and his psychedelic surf band Lawndale (SST Records) will release a new album in 2022.